My Fav'rite 'Net Things

I heard My Fav'rite 'Net Things yeas ago and instantly fell in love with it. So I'm finally taking the time to post a copy of it on my site.


My Fav'rite 'Net Things
by kc claffy, CAIDA

(as played at the conference to the tune of 'my favorite things')

Route aggregation and increasing payload
Multiway peering and `net-friendly C Code
Boxes that filter on source-routed pings
These are a few of my fav'rite `Net things

Multicast native and option-free packets
V-LANs that don't break and short A.S. path lengths
End-to-end measures with meaning to bring
These are a few of my fav'rite `Net things

[chorus melody]
When my link's toast
When the SPAM grows
When my thruput hits ground
i simply remember my fav'rite `Net things
and then i don't feeeel sooo down

Far reaching coverage and routing that's stable
Aggregate flow stats and Mice that are able
to back off when shown that the Net's being zinged
These are a few of my fav'rite `Net things

Pictures of structure and metrics with insight
Caching web content and NOCs open all nite
Code that can SIMulate huge I G P's
These are a few of my fav'rite `Net things

[chorus melody]
When my cache quits
Or backhoes hit
Fiber underground
i simply remember my fav'rite `Net things
and then i don't feeeel sooo down

Visualizations of virtual networks
Discovering ``features'' in new I O S quirks
Vendor built stacks that respect T C P
These are a few of my fav'rite `Net things

SNMP tools like MRTG
KNOW-ing how to UNconfig P.V.C.'s
Measurement boxes that sniff O C 3
These are a few of my fav'rite `Net things

[chorus melody]
when D N S freaks
when my routes leak
when i lose a peer
i try to remember my favorite 'Net things
and THEN go buy More `Net gear

Late nite `net browsing for Amazon's new books
Potent search engines that find the best web nooks
Fixing the damage in folks' B G P
These are a few of my fav'rite `Net things

Cool network geeks and their company perks
Analysis tools in which true insight lurks
Stable peer sessions and route symmetry
These are a few of my fav'rite `Net things

[chorus melody]
When my page stalls
Or they pass laws
to inVADE free `Net speech
i simply remember that it could be worse
at least there're still sites i can reach

Equipment donations and I.S.P. data
Email from parents and browsers post-beta
Drawing M-BONE or cache TOPE-all-oGY
These are a few of my fav'rite `Net things

Routers that do RED and balanced net loading
Video apps with hierarCHiCal coding
Raw packet traces to DIE-ssect and see
all of my absolute fav'rite `Net things

[chorus melody]
When my APP-let hogs
Or smurf stuff fills up logs
When my keyboard gets wet
i try to remember that most of these things
We really still DON'T... get yet

Multi-mode fiber with an optical splitter
B G P sessions conFIGGED not to litter
Reverting from A T M back to I P
These are a few of my fav'rite `Net things

Stock trading web sites that haven't yet crashed
M-P 3 players with plenty of flash
having my cell phone talk TO my P C
These are a few of my fav'rite `Net things

When popUPS leap
when copy-RIGHTS creep
into my browser's cache
i simply remember that S D M I
will most likely buuurn & crash

Linux and open and freeBSD
Persistence in T C P's H T T P
Finally remembering my P G P key
These are a few of my fav'rite `Net things

G-trace and skitter; coral, C flow D,
converting my CDs all to M-P 3
workload profiling that helps I.S.P's
These are a few of my fav'rite `Net things

[chorus melody]
When the SPAM stings
or TIME WAITs bring
servers to the ground
i simply remember my fav'rite `Net things
and then i don't feeeel sooo down


Here's a recording of kc claffy singing with some entertaining (if not dated) visualizations to go along with it. You can find additional versions of My Fav'rite 'Net Things on YouTube.